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Member since 10/2005

« Applied EQ #9: What am I feeling Now, Part 3? | Main | Applied EQ #11: What am I feeling Now, Part 5? »

December 27, 2005


Steven Cohn

The analogy to playing poker is great. First step, know your own hand. Second step, try to read the hand of others. Finally, if you're really good, deduce what they believe you're holding. In relationships, know thyself first, then get to know others. Shouldn't we also "feel" how they "feel" about us? Just a thought.

Anthony Mersino

Steve, I agree 100% with your assessment.

I believe there is another step in poker in addition to the one you mention (i.e. deduce what they believe you're holding), that is, poker players try to convince the other player that they have a certain type of hand. In some cases this could mean making the opponent believe they don't have a strong hand (thereby increasing the pot) or that they actually have a strong hand (when bluffing for example). So it is not just about understanding the state of the other but changing or managing that state.

This is about influencing the emotions of the other and that is important whether we are talking about poker or project management.

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