EQ4PM

You Can Do Anything You Want On Your Last Day at Work - Part 1

I stumbled across this funny video about Bill Gates and his upcoming last day at work at Microsoft (July 2008).  Bill is retiring from his full time job at Microsoft this year to spend more time on the Gates Foundation. 

In his video, Bill is hamming up the fact that he is a geek, he drives a cheapo car and is apparently forgetful, that he is a wannabee rock star, and even that he could be a potential running mate for one of the current presidential candidates.  He (or his staff) engaged the help of numerous celebrities, rock stars, and politicians to participate in the video.  The video came across as entertaining and wonderfully self-effacing.

The really cool part about the video is not that Bill is retiring or that the world's richest man (or second richest man, it's hard to tell) made a video about himself.  The really cool part is that Bill Gates has the self-confidence to poke fun at himself.  Bill Gates has the self-confidence to make a video that ridicules Bill Gates.  That is confidence!

Self-confidence is an emotional intelligence competency in the domain of self-awareness.  Here is how Daniel Goleman defines self-confidence:

Self-Confidence - "A Strong Sense of one’s Self-Worth and Capabilities."
- Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence

Why would anyone with a strong sense of their own self-worth and capabilities need to poke fun at themself?  They don't, of course.  But it is only those who do have a strong sense of their own worth and capabilities that find themselves able to joke about their short-comings.  Individuals that are lacking in self-confident don't give themselves the freedom to do that.  It is as if they are on the defensive all the time, trying to make sure no one sees through their facade  Even though the reality is, other people usually see us as we are, confident or not.

Consider the following questions for yourself:

1. Do you ever feel as if you wouldn't dare let others see how overwhelmed you feel in your job?
2. Are you aware of your weaknesses, or the areas where others might get a chuckle about you?
3. Are you willing to let others have a laugh at you about those areas?  Would you even make a joke out of it and let others laugh at you?

If you are too serious about yourself or feel threatened by the idea of laughing at yourself, perhaps this would be a good opportunity to lighten up.  Others certainly already know about our weaknesses, follibles, and blind spots, even if we don't talk about them or bring attention to them.  They may even see our weaknesses more clearly than we are able to see them!  Why pretend that they don't exist? 

It reminds me of Al Gore who, as vice president for 8 years and a presidential candidate in 2000, was seen as robotic, stiff, and boring.  Then, after losing in the 2000 presidential election, he started doing speaking engagements and he hosted Saturday Night Live and poked fun at himself and his situation.  Suddenly, he is more popular now than when he was when he was as a public servant.

So my advice to you today is to lighten up and be confident enough to have some fun and let others have a laugh at your expense.  It will make you much more human, and much more self-confident.

If you find that you need to boost your self-confidence, consider the following tip, from my list of 20 tips for improving your emotional intelligence:

Tip of the Day #10- Self-confidence is when we are grounded, secure, and self-assured. It’s easy to be rattled or thrown off our game by a recent setback or failure. One technique for overcoming a lack of self-confidence is to reflect on our past successes. Create a timeline on a piece of paper and mark on it the successes, small and large, that you have experienced over your career. By reviewing our past successes, we can put our current setbacks into perspective and see them as temporary.

And if I am wrong about Bill Gates and my judgment that he feels self-confident enough to make a joke, I will go out on a limb and offer my coaching services to him.  Heck, I am pretty sure that I can help him feel more self-confident.  Clearly, my exorbitant fee won't be an issue for him.  Hey, it may even make him laugh. 

In fairness, I guess I should also offer this same deal to Warren Buffet and Carlos Slim Helú, the other two individuals who collectively make up the three richest men in the world.  Warren and Carlos, if you have self-confidence issues, please feel free to contact me directly for help!  Go on, make my day.

Cheers!

Anthony

The Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired Project Manager

I have been speaking quite a bit lately about the importance of emotional intelligence and risks of making dumb mistakes due to a lack of emotional intelligence.  I call this my Smart People, Dumb Mistakes Tour and it has been underway since last fall.  The idea is that there is a difference between intelligence (or IQ) and emotional intelligence.  Even really smart or successful people are at risk of making a dumb mistake when it comes to emotions (e.g. Eliot Spitzer or Lisa Lowak). 

Project managers especially need great people skills and would do well to avoid those dumb mistakes.  One of the key concepts that I have found to resonate with PMs is the idea that we are operating in stressful environments and at risk of some type of emotional breakdown or loss of control.  Many of us are doing more with less, staying connected and "on" all the time, and feeling overwhelmed in the process.  We are surrounded by people and situations that push our buttons and threaten to push us over the edge.

The best project managers tend to stay positive and unflappable no matter what comes their way.  I am jealous of those men and women.  For my part, I have to continually strive to do better and better in this area.  

One thing that helps me is to recognize that no matter what the stimulus, I still have a choice about my behavior.  I can choose a response that leads toward my goals, or I can react emotionally.  In fact, I devoted my last monthly newsletter to the topic of, Respond Don't React.  Here is a key graphic from that newsletter.  (FYI - You can sign up for my monthly newsletters from my home page). 

The key to being able to choose a response versus just reacting emotionally is our level of emotional resilience.  At a recent speaking event, a participant reminded me of a short and simple acronym for helping us gauge our level of emotional resilience.  It is the acronym HALT. 

HALT stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired.  Those four serve as a gauge of our level of emotional resilience.  Whenever you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, your resilience is low and you are at risk of having a negative reaction or emotional breakdown.  You are less likely to make good choices about your responses to stimulus.

The key thing that HALT tells me is that I am at risk.  It is a quick test.  And those HALT items are pretty common indicators for most people.  If you wanted to elaborate, you could come up with additional things that might set you up for a breakdown.  This is a list that my audiences have given me:

• Illness and Fatigue
• Criticism
• Lack of Exercise
• Failing to reach my Goals
• Feeling Overwhelmed
• Always on with WIFI and my Blackberry

Here are some work situations that push my button and put me at risk for a breakdown.  See if you can recognize the HALT aspect for each of these situations:

• Working Late - When I am working long hours on a project. I am working late at the office and everyone else has gone home.  I am likely to be feeling lonely and tired,  I might also be hungry, and could easily be resentful and angry about all of it.
• Long Term Conflict - When I work in an environment where people don't like each other and are constantly fighting, it is stressful.  It is easy for me to feel angry and tired.  I am more likely to isolate myself and therefore feel lonely.
• Business Travel -  When I am traveling for work, I frequently find myself at the mercy of the airlines; flights are delayed or cancelled, or I sit on the tarmac before taking off or after landing.  I can be hungry, angry, lonely and tired when that occurs.
• Driving to and from Work - My current commute is 1 hour and 15 minutes.  Enough said!
• Long and Contentious Meetings - I may not be hungry in a long meeting, but when there is a lot of conflict, it is easy for me to feel angry, lonely, and tired.

Once I know what in particular is likely to set me up for a failure, I can be alert and see that as a sign of risk.  I can mitigate the risk, when I recognize it, by taking immediate action to remove myself from the situation.  This might include stepping out of the building for some fresh air or going home for the day.  This could be getting something healthy to eat or going to the gymn. 

I can avoid that risk entirely by taking good care of myself well in advance of being in this condition.  This might include getting more rest, eating better, exercising, or taking time off from work.  I can meditate, pray, spend time on hobbies, or connect with family or friends.  This falls into the category of 'self-care' and it is something that many project managers could improve on.

In an ideal world, I would be kind, graceful, and compassionate with everyone I meet every day.  Until I figure out how to do that, I need to use techniques like HALT or my list of triggers to avoid and recognize when I am at risk.  I can also improve in the area of self-care with the hope that an investment in me will pay off in having more grace and compassion for others.

Thanks,

Anthony

Now Available - The Emotional Intelligence Monthly Newsletter for PMs

About six months ago, I quietly launched the EQ Monthly Newsletter for Project Managers. The newsletter is published on the first of every month and contains news and tips to help project managers understand, develop, and apply their emotional intelligence. 

In the March 2008 monthly newsletter, I wrote about what makes project managers successful based on the research conducted by Ralf Mueller and J. Rodney Turner.  As you may recall from my posts here, Mueller and Turner are the authors of "Choosing Appropriate Project Managers", a book that details PMI-sponsored research into what makes project managers successful.  I have based my newest workhop (Leading Teams with Emotional Intelligence) on that research from Mueller and Turner as well as other emotional intelligence and leadership research by Victor Dulewicz and Malcolm Higgs.

You can always read the most recent month's newsletter on-line at: Last Month's Newsletter.  You can join the mailing list for the newsletter by hitting the submit button below. 

Sign Up Today!



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Cheers!

Anthony

PS:  I am delighted to see that Elizabeth Harrin of A Girls Guide to Managing Projects has posted a very positive review of my book on her very popular blog.  I always liked her writing but after reading her review of my book, I think she is absolutely brilliant!  Please check out her blog and see if you agree.

Be Wary of Webinars

I found an interesting webinar on line called Using Emotional Intelligence in Professional Situations.  It is a quick and informative session on emotional intelligence and may be very helpful to those of you who want to learn more about the topic. 

The downside is that you have to register and then almost immediately you will get a call from Global Knowledge to discuss your training needs.  I was a bit put off by the call from Global Knowledge but have come to expect that sort of treatment when I register for "free" information.  Rarely is anything free or no strings attached. 

It reminds me a little bit of when you first arrive at the airport in Cancun Mexico and you have all these people swarming at you offering help with your luggage, assistance with transportation, and numerous "free gifts" which are invariably linked to hard-sell timeshare presentations.  Unwary travelers may get sucked in and feel compelled to respond in kind to these offers.

If you want strings-free information and resources on emotional intelligence, look no further than this site.  My emotional intelligence foundations page provides a wealth of easily digested materials on emotional intelligence and how to apply it to project management.  And you don't need to worry about me calling you up to ask you about your training needs...or selling you a timeshare.

Cheers!

Anthony

A Fresh Website Look

I am excited to announce a fresh new look for my commercial website at www.ProjectAdvisorsGroup.com.  The updated website is now more focused on serving the project management community with all the resources you need for soft skills and emotional intelligence including downloads, workshops and courses, speaking events, and of course my book.  You can also sign up for my monthly EQ Newsletter for Project Managers.

I hope you will stop by the Project Advisors Group Site and look around.  And please let me know what you think.

Cheers!  Anthony

Start the Year Off with a BHAG!

Last year I wrote about the hedghog principle and setting big, hairy, audacious goals (BHAGs) to motivate us to take on and accomplish great things.  I have been thinking a lot about goal setting and BHAGs this last year as well as the ways to succeed with them.  Since this is a time of year that many of us set goals, I thought it would be good to share with you some tips for applying BHAGs to our goals and use those BHAGs to motivate us to achieve great things.

I am a big believer in goal setting in general and the use of BHAGs in particular.  I used BHAGs to qualify and run the Boston Marathon, to write my book and get it published, and to pursue becoming a world class professional speaker.

My tips for applying BHAGs to your goals are in the January 2008 edition of the Monthly EQ Newsletter for Project Managers.  Download the PDF file of the Monthly Newsletter Here.  You can also sign up to get your own copy of the EQ Monthly Newsletter on my corporate website.

I would love to hear about your reactions to the tips, the BHAGs you set for yourself, and your success stories throughout this year.

Cheers!

Anthony

New Emotional Intelligence Workshop for Project Managers

I am excited to announce a new workshop coming out in April.  I am going to be partnering with the PMI Chicagoland to provide a two-day workshop titled, Leading Teams with Emotional Intelligence.  This workshop will be based in part on the research conducted by Ralf Mueller and J. Rodney Turner on those emotional intelligence competencies that make project managers successful.

You can get more information about the upcoming workshop at the following link:

http://www.pmi-chicagoland.org/prof_dev/

Have a great New Years Holiday!

Anthony Mersino

Take Your Own EQ Assessment - New and Improved for Project Managers

I few months back, I posted information about a free online EQ assessment.  The good news is that since that time, I have been working on a more robust version.  This version has been designed specifically for project managers.  It uses the Emotional Intelligence Framework for Project managers.  And best of all, this new robust assessment is available, just in time for Christmas.  Actually we are in pre-test but this assessment should be ready for primetime in just a few weeks.

If you would like to participate in the pre-test of this online assessment, you can follow the link below to the pilot version of the survey.   I am just working the bugs out now, so detailed reporting is not going to be available right away.  Still, I'd really appreciate your feedback on the assessment, the questions, length of time it takes to complete it, and anything else you would like to comment on.  There is a place for comments at the bottom of each page for this purpose.

I hope to complete the pre-tests by mid-January then begin collection of data and validation through mid-March.

Please use this link to take the online assessment of Emotional Intelligence in Project Managers:  http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=0wmSPNIkMMhSty1WT2DDmA_3d_3d

Merry Christmas!

Anthony Mersino

You Can Join the Research Team

I have talked quite a bit in this blog about PMI's research into what makes project managers effective and several times have mentioned the book, Choosing Appropriate Project Managers.  Dr. Ralf Müller is one of the co-authors of that book and he has asked me for some help with his ongoing research into project management leadership competencies.  I'd like to invite you to join Dr. Müller with this important work.

Dr. Müller has a short opinion survey on the 15 leadership competencies and how they relate to project complexity.  He would be most appreciative if you would take the time to complete the following survey and email it back to him.  Here is the survey:  Questions_on_Project Complexity.doc, and here is Dr. Müller's email address:  ralf.mueller@usbe.umu.se.

Thank you,

Anthony Mersino

PS:  I am speaking on emotional intelligence and project management at the PMI Chicagoland Chapter next Wednesday, December 12.  The presentation is titled, "Smart People Dumb Mistakes".  Capacity is limited so reserve your seat now at:  http://www.pmi-chicagoland.org/news_events/presentations_2007-2008/2007_dec_chapter_mtg.php

What Makes Project Managers Successful - Part 3

I have posted a few times about the book by J. Rodney Turner and Ralf Mueller called, Choosing Appropriate Project Managers.  The book details the research conducted by Turner and Mueller on 400 different projects; some that succeeded and some that failed.  The study looked at the competencies of the project managers and specifically those competencies that were related to project success or failure.

The book is packed with information and it has taken me some time (and some help from Mueller) to unpack it and understand how to apply it.   The first part of my analysis was figuring out which competencies led to success for each type of project.  This was complicated somewhat by the depth of the analysis.  You could keep it simple by just looking at the type of project studied, such as Information Technology, Engineering, or Organizational Change.  You could further fine tine the requirements by including some of the other project attributes such as project complexity, importance, and contract type. 

The chart below is what it would look like if you kept it simple, based only on type of project.  For each type of project, you are more likely to succeed if you have the competencies shown in the chart.

Type of Project	PM Competencies
Information Technology	·       Self-Awareness ·       Communication ·       Developing
Engineering	·       Conscientiousness ·       Sensitivity
Organizational	·       Motivation ·       Communication

If you wanted to fine tune the analysis using the project attributes, it would look like the chart below (or click here to download the PDF).  To use the chart, start with the type of project and select those attributes.  Then, add any additional competencies for the project complexity, importance, and contract type.

Ralf Mueller was kind enough to send me an email with an explanation of how to interpret the charts in the book.  The example Ralf Mueller explained to me was for an IT project with medium complexity, of renewal type, and using fixed price.  Here is what he wrote:

"If your project has the following attributes: IT project, medium complexity, renewal, fixed price, then the following competencies correlate with success:
• self-awareness, communications, and developing (Table 6-1 IT)
• emotional resilience, communication (Table 6-2 medium complexity)
• sensitivity, self-awareness (Table 6-3 importance)
• sensitivity, self-awareness (Table 6-4 contract type FP)

So if you improve self-awareness (3 mentionings), sensitivity (2 mentionings), communications (2 mentionings) development, or emotional resilience, then you have the highest chances to improve your project results."

The biggest value of this research is in helping individuals understand what type of training would be most valuable to them or would lead them to succeed as project managers.  If you can identify the competencies most important to you, you can train on those and improve your success. 

That said, it would be helpful to project managers to know what their current competency level is for those project success factors.  While Turner and Mueller have some profiles for average project managers, you would have to use an instrument to determine your unique competency levels.

The Leadership Dimensions Questionnaire is an instrument that would help you determine your competency levels.  Victor Dulewicz and Malcolm Higgs developed the Leadership Dimensions Questionnaire and that is the instrument used by Turner and Mueller as the basis for their study of 400 projects. I will take a closer look at the LDQ in a future post.